How to Design Change That Actually Sticks

My Personal Reset Moment

I’m always looking for ways to make positive changes in my life in the easiest way possible.

If I don’t, I will almost 100% not follow through.

Eating has always been one of those areas for me. I love putting healthy food into my body. I love how it makes me feel. But I don’t love spending hours every single day preparing it. I am not very naturally creative with food and run out of ideas. When that happens, I reach for whatever is easiest. Bread has often been the default.

For years I told myself I just needed to be more disciplined.

In the last six months, I stopped trying to be disciplined and started designing a system instead.

Every Sunday, I spend a couple of hours chopping, peeling, squeezing, blending and doing a bit of cooking. It takes commitment, but knowing the reward keeps me doing it!

Because that one decision changes my entire week.

It means I start each morning with a spicy ginger shot while my favourite coffee brews. (In fact, I sometimes look forward to going to bed just so I can wake up to that coffee.) While it’s brewing, I feed the dogs, take a protein out of the freezer for dinner, and defrost my frozen smoothie to take to the office. I add collagen, creatine and flaxseed, all things that support my joints and body.

Around 10-11am, I don’t have to think about what to eat. I reach for fruit I’ve already chopped, with chia seeds, raisins and nut butter. It’s the yummiest snack which satisfies any sweet cravings and keeps me going until lunch time.

At lunch, I don’t have to negotiate with myself. I have a prepared salad waiting. I just add chicken, tuna or another protein with half an Avocado Pear.

In the evenings, we keep it simple. A protein on the gas braai. A vegetable in the steamer.

That’s it!

I don’t make decisions all day long. I don’t argue with myself. I don’t rely on willpower.

I rely on design.

At weekends, I allow myself carbs and treats. But during the week, the system carries me.

It works because when hunger hits, the healthy option is the easiest option. It’s kept me on track probably 80% of the time, which may not be perfect, but for me it’s enough.

And that’s when I realised something important.

Lasting change doesn’t come from trying harder.

It comes from making the right thing easier.

The Myth of Willpower

For most of my life, I believed that if something mattered enough, I should just push through.

After a health setback in 2020, I eventually returned to running. I assumed discipline would carry me.

But if I’m honest, for the next 2 years I found it hard. And not very satisfying.

What had once been my passion suddenly felt like work. I was battling to go further than 5km’s.

It wasn’t a lack of desire.

It was friction.

Research shows that when something consistently feels painful or unrewarding, we eventually stop doing it. Not because we’re weak, but because our brains are wired to favour immediate comfort and satisfaction.

If change depends entirely on strength, it won’t last.

In mid-2023, my partner suggested I try trail running instead.

Now that lit me up.

He entered me into a 17km trail race as part of my 60th birthday gift. Suddenly, I had a goal to work towards. He bought me a Garmin so I could track progress. He got me onto the mountain.

And something shifted.

Both my brothers and two of my boys were running with us. We would start and end with a selfie. We pushed ourselves a little further each week. And we always ended with a cappuccino at one of our local coffee shops.

It stopped feeling like discipline.

It felt like pure joy.

The need for willpower disappeared because the process itself was rewarding.

Three years later, we’re still at it. We’ve joined a trail running group. Some days we finish with a cold dip in the sea or a dam. We’re out in nature. We’re together.

The difference wasn’t my character.

It was the design.

And that insight changed how I try and approach everything else.

Drift Is Real

There’s another reason change doesn’t always stick.

It isn’t motivation.
It isn’t discipline.

It’s what I would call drift.

We make decisions in moments of clarity. We feel inspired. Certain. Ready.

But life rarely slows down long enough to protect those decisions.

Emails arrive.
Meetings fill the calendar.
Family needs attention.
Energy fluctuates.

And what felt urgent a few hours ago quietly slips away.

Research shows we forget far more than we realise. Our brains prioritise what is directly in front of us. If something isn’t visible, scheduled, or anchored, it drifts.

I’ve seen this personally and in business countless times.

If a task lives only in my head, it competes with everything else in my head.

When it lives on paper, it has a far better chance of becoming real.

Write it down.

(There are best-practice ways of doing this, but that’s a story for another day.)

Designing a system that works for me has taken much reflection. I had to understand what wasn’t working.

I realised I was pushing all my personal chores aside because of work. At weekends I didn’t get to them either. I also couldn’t get to the part of the business where I was developing systems or working on high-value tasks. Most of my day was reactive.

I was constantly busy.

But I didn’t feel satisfied or effective.

So I redesigned.

I hired someone who could take over many of the operational tasks I was caught up in.

I announced that I was no longer working on Fridays.

Fridays became my space. A guilt-free morning run, a swim, a coffee. Time to do personal chores without resentment or guilt. And often, time to work quietly from home on the parts of the business that matter most, writing, designing tools, thinking strategically.

To make that possible, I traded some of my weekend time for focused, high-value work. And because that work feels so much more inspiring and energising.

The result?

I achieve more than I used to.

And I enjoy it far more.

Once again, it isn’t about becoming stronger.

It’s about designing smarter.

Design Vs Discipline

The biggest shift for me has been to stop asking,
“Why can’t I just be more disciplined?”

And to start asking,
“What would make this easier to repeat?”

When something feels consistently hard, unpleasant, or inconvenient, it requires constant effort.

Effort drains.

Design sustains.

Meaningful changes I’ve made, in my life, my health, my running, my business, have lasted because I redesigned the environment around it.

I removed friction.

I created cues.

I made the process rewarding.

I stopped relying on strength.

And when something slips, because it always does at some point, I don’t question my character.

I adjust the system.

The Story You Tell Yourself

There were many times when I believed:

“I’ve lost my fitness.”
“I can’t get back there.”
“I’m too busy to do this properly.”

Those stories felt true.

But they weren’t permanent.

They were simply interpretations of those times.

Growth mindset isn’t a motivational phrase. It’s a practical one.

It means this isn’t final.

If something isn’t working, it doesn’t mean you’re incapable.

It means something in the design needs refining.

That shift alone removes so much pressure.

The Company You Keep

One more thing that matters more than we realise.

Environment.

When I started trail running with my family, it became our normal.

When I joined a running group, it became easier.

In business, being around successful business owners changes what feels possible.

We are influenced by what we see, what we hear, and what feels normal around us.

You don’t need to change your entire circle.

But you can choose what rooms you sit in.

What voices you listen to.

What examples you follow.

You can find your tribe.

Environment quietly shapes behaviour.

A Simple Framework to Begin

If you’re looking at something in your own life and thinking, “I want this to stick,” here’s what I’ve learned:

Choose one clear intention.

Make it specific.

Make it lighter or more enjoyable.

Anchor it in your calendar.

Design a small system that supports it.

You don’t need to become someone new.

You need to create conditions that support who you’re becoming.

And sometimes, it starts with something as simple as turning the page.

If this resonated with you, we’ve created a Gentle Reset Series that walks through this framework step by step, with simple reflections and practical tools to help you design change that actually sticks.

You can begin it here.